Excruciating pain, death is a choice;
The drugs fail to ease, agony, my voice.
My knee bloat and bulge, the earth quake and spilt;
Synovium bleeds, strangulate and hit.
Sound my wailing siren to paradise;
Repentance and forgiveness of my vice.
Resentment and regrets complicate life;
Mobility down, restlessness run rife.
Bitter truth of life, body’s wear and tear;
Sad tears dribble down knee, fresh ire aware.
Living without style, feel enough and rich;
Stays calm and cool, mind adjust to new niche.
Life is bittersweet, the divide we share;
The affair we dream, we compare the flare.
Note:
We consulted an orthopedic surgeon at Mount Alvernia MC yesterday, recommended by his colleague we saw earlier. We had a frank and long discussion about my medical condition. The complication was rare. In his long practice of two decades in his speciality, I was the first patient he encountered with such a problem. The explanation removes some of my grudges and misunderstanding.
In the interval, I read several books, listen to many You tube over wide topic. I, thereby, summarize all I have read into the above sonnet.
The pictures of books were copied pasted from the web. I have read them with appreciation to the authors Their books give me a different perspective to life. I have added two food pictures: Nasi Lemak (coconut milk added to rice, with flower petals), a Malaysian cuisine, simple and excellent; and a well balanced Western breakfast. The oats were steel cut and boiled, a small bananas for the flavour.; plain yogurt was added to the fruits; black coffee, without sugar nor milk.
wonkywizard 
Very rarely a human can avoid some form of pain at some stage of life.
My thoughts are with you Dr in your endless pain endurance.
While your love of poetry and avid readership will provide tremendous mental strength, you will continue to seek the best medical solution to relieve the excruciating pain.
Thank you Encik Puah for visiting and commenting on my blog. For many days, meals were served to me in confined room. During illness, not only my life quality was affected, so is my wife and daughter. My costly medical bill was paid by her. In moments of weaknesses, my prayers were gratitude and apology.
I hope your situation improves soon and you feel better.
Thank you Claudia. Now I have a surgeon willing to do an open surgery to do some curative or repair work. The operative date is on 7th May, 2024.
I will be thinking of you. Best wishes.